Friday, June 26, 2009
Why?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
REPO
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Listen to the Words of my Rambling
Or maybe, because I'm an author, I'm not really crazy. It's everyone else who has deluded themselves into see the false reality that lies on top, the lie that may not always be pleasant but it's sure as heck a lot easier to swallow than that undeniable truth that runs beneath everything else and which rends the minds of those who see it apart. People always say there is a fine line between genius and insanity, but I say there is no line, only a sick sort of blur which pervades each one in varying quantities. The minds that have been torn apart by truth and reality are the ones that are the most brilliant. My mind is only slightly tainted by this ultimate existence, but maybe some day everything will make sense and finally I'll slip into the holds of complete insanity and be able to grasp onto the sucess that sits just outside of my grasp. On that day, I will certainly be most excited.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
we have our bad days too
Writhing
searching
cawing begging howling!
the moon rises full
I'm not comfortable in my own skin.
The field glows blue
full moonlight washing over
the rage!
THE RAGE!
It burns!
my skin takes another shape.
Weeping
shouting
clawing
roaring
sobbing
Violent saddness
morose anger
burning inside my soul
pale fleshy skin explodes
fur where it once was
reveal the beast inside
Friday, May 29, 2009
Dream Journal Special: Entry for May 29, 2009.
It begins simply. I am working somewhere, in a kitchen of sorts, and we are trying to prevent people from crossing into it. This part, for some reason, strikes me as being unimportant.
The dream does not obtain relevance, it would seem, until a small child crosses over this boundary... but not into a kitchen, into a snowy white field. I pick up the child, and hold him out to a man. "This yours?" I ask.
The man nods. "Yes, that's mine." He takes it. "He died two years ago."
"What?" I am shocked, because the child is clearly alive.
"Yes, don't you remember?"
I look down. The child is not a human child anymore. It is a rabbit. A small, snowy-white rabbit. It bounds across the snow into the field beyond the boundary. It seems to flicker constantly in and out of sight. Sometimes it becomes invisible, and all I can see are the foot prints it leaves behind, but at other times it is clearly visible.
I try to chase it, knowing that this incarnation of the dead child is somehow important, leading me to answers. It grows, the feet changing shape until I am aware I am chasing something much larger across the snow, much more dangerous. A tiger now flickers before me, at first all I can see is its feet, but eventually I am clearly aware of the great predator bounding through the snowy fields.
As we run, the tiger begins to fade as well. No longer am I chasing an animal, but a trail of connected scrolls, each one filling with words slowly. Finely handwritten script, like something written in the early 20th century. The scrolls, I know, tell me the story of this boys life. At this point, I can hear music, loud hard-rock music, playing in the background.
I continue running, and the nature of the scrolls has changed. I know there is something different, something sinister now, the music grows louder. I unravell the scroll and to my great dismay I observe the true nature of heart of the child (and in my mind I know that I have followed his life, and he is a man), as the scroll reveals the unmistakable simble of a Swastica in a white circle, against a red bacground.
I cry out in shock, and I can hear the words of the song, telling about what he did.
One line, sung out with the great anguish and power that is now filling my heart "Bloody Murder!"
I return to the father, and watch as the entire nature of the dream changes. He is in anguish, and I follow him, watching him place himself into a chamber where a purple light fills my vision, and he slowly lowers his head, putting himself into hiding until some time, when his pain can be removed. A green light goes out. I awaken.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Dream Journal Special: Entry for May 27, 2009.
May 27, 2009:
So, it starts, I'm in a class room of some sort. I don't really recognize anyone in it (for once, the characters in this dream are entirely fictional) and this one girl, african american, is kinda flirting with me.
Later, I leave the classroom. I'm now in a dentists office (but not actually at the dentist). One of the desk clerks, a pretty blonde girl about my age, smiles and is quite friendly with me.
Time seems to skip forward, and the desk clerk and I are sitting next to each other, so close our legs touch gently at the knees. I can tell she's flirting with me, and I'm not entirely adverse to the idea. She tells me she has to talk to me, so we walk off to do so.
I'm confused, worried, but I still go. She tells me how she's madly in love with me, but I'm a bit panicked. I like her too, but I don't even know (or remember?) her name.
We decide we're a couple (or rather, she seems to decide it) and we go off. For some reason, we get a bit lost and end up in the class room. They're writing an exam, but we leave, she's making a bit of a racket and I can feel myself panicking, trying to get her to be quiet, without hurting her feelings.
We get back to the office after tripping over a desk in the class room.
But the class mates are angry, they come in to berate us (I mean, all 40-something of them come in and crowd around us) but some how, we talk them down, and the african american girl is still trying to flirt with me (although she seems a bit bummed out that I'm with the blonde).
And then I wake up. Make of it what you will.
If there are any Jungian Psychologists reading this, please, an interpretation would be welcome. Everyone else is welcome to interpret as well, I'd be interested to read it.
